JTW

(i love his ad-lib in the beginning, so i had to use this one…)

this line —> “everything works in your arms…”

i’ve been thinking about this song quite a bit lately.  well, i’ve been thinking about a lot actually, but that’s nothing new.

you know newton’s laws of motion…”for every action, there is an equal & opposite…”

i’m writing a new blog post about this today.  

because sometimes everything doesn’t work…when i’m not in your arms.

you walk down to the beach…see the whitecaps at a distance.  feel the cold sand between your toes.  the sunrise looks so beautiful.

approach the water, start wading in.  suddenly change is rushing upon you in crashing waves.

the current claws at your ankles…as soon as you feel it recede it starts to build again…knocks you down, over & over, pummeling you.

you try to stand.  but there are no footholds.

you can’t control this any more than the sand can rise up against the sea.

you can go back to the shore…leave it all behind.  or you can simply stop fighting.  lay down and be with the ocean.

i stare down at the keys
waiting for the release of words
that should come;
the flooding emotions

but instead of being tapped out
in black & white static
i find these words wing-tipped;
fluttering off, swirling around the room
filling it with joys unuttered

a love like this

yeah, this is very different.  i won’t deny it’s new territory for sure.  and yet there is no drama, jealousy, anger or pain - because there is no selfishness.  priorities & expectations are in check.  and the space that breathes there is pure joy.  

“fear, you look so pretty, i remember you.  but i’m just over it.  you’ll have to find someone else to torture.”

do i have to worry about what you did last night?  nope, i trust you.  do i have to obsess that you won’t return after today?  nope, whether you return or not, it’s just a succession of love.

the limits of our endurance will be tested.  but in that testing process, the quality of our conviction becomes known.

i hesitate because i wonder if you say it about what you think we could become; whereas i say it for what we are in the moment - when the moment strikes.

i don’t want to hurt you, that would break my heart.  but there’s no string you can pull to illicit a canned response from me.  i tore that string off and burned it with fire long ago.

authenticity, though painful, is better than compulsion.  and if yours is different than mine you’re likely going to get hurt.

(am i my worst enemy?  perhaps.  we usually are.)

it’s a fact of life that change is inevitable.  in relationships as much as in seasons and stars and everything else that’s here.

my life, and the love i have to offer, is simply a subway train - it can take you many, many places.  if you’re willing to look, you’ll see magnificent vistas out these windows.  you will meet fellow passengers.

when the doors opened at your stop, you boarded.  and the doors will open many more times.  when you’re ready, you may get off at any destination you like.  and i hope your polaroids will hold fond, unforgettable memories of the journeys you took with me.

i really want to listen.

i’d like to know everything.  it’s hard not to push, but i know you will when you’re ready.

i’m not going to daydream.  i’m just going to do my best to be patient and work on my issues.

it’s freezing rain out today, but i don’t really mind.  i’m getting warmer.
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