JTW

travel on the wind
high up above the mountains
see the world spread out beneath you
know all the pain & beauty you can possibly reach
then land softly back in my outstretched arms and realize truth

i lean into the grain, feel it scrape against my skin, feel little pieces of it bite into me.  it reminds me i’m alive & who i am.

one of these days i’m gonna write about good & bad.  sometime, probably sooner than later, i’ll tell the rest of the story.  i know most of them won’t understand.  in fact, i know exactly what they’ll think, because i’ve been there.  stood right beside them and recited it with them word for word.

occasionally i’ll see a shadow or a fragment from that past and i’ll wonder how i escaped, not physically, but mentally, without actually going completely insane.  i did go a little insane.  ;)

in any case, we all need reminders sometimes.  and i still love them.  it’s just that now i know that me is perfect.

xo

(i love his ad-lib in the beginning, so i had to use this one…)

this line —> “everything works in your arms…”

i’ve been thinking about this song quite a bit lately.  well, i’ve been thinking about a lot actually, but that’s nothing new.

you know newton’s laws of motion…”for every action, there is an equal & opposite…”

i’m writing a new blog post about this today.  

because sometimes everything doesn’t work…when i’m not in your arms.

today has kinda sucked.  for no particular reason.  or maybe, for several particular reasons.

in any case, i’ll be glad when this week is over.  and screw the snow - it was pretty for like 20 seconds.

some days are like jail cells.  these are the days that make me believe.  because we must be mice being toyed with.  there’s no way two sets of headphones thousands of miles apart both die on the same day.  etcetera.

so i shake my fist at some unknown and then look away.  cause they’ll be bored tomorrow & move on.

and anyway, “love will come & set me free.”

16.

i stare down at the keys
waiting for the release of words
that should come;
the flooding emotions

but instead of being tapped out
in black & white static
i find these words wing-tipped;
fluttering off, swirling around the room
filling it with joys unuttered

a love like this

sometimes a vortex opens up in front of me, a portal to another place.  i don’t have any choice whether to go there.  it sucks me in like a vacuum.  there are definitely triggers, but i never know when it’s going to hit, for sure.

i never was for the faint of heart.  i’m a traveler baby.  maybe you are too.  and i think that’s why you can love me - even this.  anyway, you’d have to be crazy…

xo

yeah, this is very different.  i won’t deny it’s new territory for sure.  and yet there is no drama, jealousy, anger or pain - because there is no selfishness.  priorities & expectations are in check.  and the space that breathes there is pure joy.  

“fear, you look so pretty, i remember you.  but i’m just over it.  you’ll have to find someone else to torture.”

do i have to worry about what you did last night?  nope, i trust you.  do i have to obsess that you won’t return after today?  nope, whether you return or not, it’s just a succession of love.

the limits of our endurance will be tested.  but in that testing process, the quality of our conviction becomes known.

i hesitate because i wonder if you say it about what you think we could become; whereas i say it for what we are in the moment - when the moment strikes.

i don’t want to hurt you, that would break my heart.  but there’s no string you can pull to illicit a canned response from me.  i tore that string off and burned it with fire long ago.

authenticity, though painful, is better than compulsion.  and if yours is different than mine you’re likely going to get hurt.

(am i my worst enemy?  perhaps.  we usually are.)

there’s no question
fell asleep right there
every muscle twitching
gone every care

candle burning down
amidst the screams
clarity washed over me
in jetting streams

blue angels overhead
whispering in our ears
words not yet written
amazing what appears

silly sense of humor
whacky pace of life
idiosyncrasies galore
lunacy that’s rife

you just listen & laugh
accepting it as norm
with sudden declarations
where love & dreams are born

staring at the fish tank
waiting for the rest to come
but nothing needs contrived
so i guess this poem’s done

oh wait there’s something more
dripped down in laughter’s tears
it’s just that you’re quite odd too
& i’ll take that for years