JTW

songwriter, lyricist, poet, blogger, photographer…i ♥ music, scotch & lowercase.

 

[omg i haven’t tumbl’d in FOR EV UH.  i should fix that.]


i’m fascinated by people that live their entire life within a 50 mile radius. i wonder at what price such contentment comes. oh maybe they go to the typical american destinations – orlando, myrtle beach. maybe they’ve even gone to cancun or the bahamas for a week on their income tax refund. but what was the risk? where is the exposure? what demons can you face soaking in the hot tub on a luxury ocean-liner with an all-you-can-eat buffet of the same stuff you can get in cleveland, surrounded by people who are all just like you? is that an adventure? hardly. but it is safe i suppose…

it’s been an experience.  one of those lessons that come around in fall, just to show you a different winter.  to strengthen your spring convictions.

i think i rode it pretty well.  i gave it everything i had.  fully immersed.

now i’m gonna package it up with a neat little bow.  and i’ll leave it down at the corner.  it’s yours if you want it.  cause i’ve got other plans come summer.

travel on the wind
high up above the mountains
see the world spread out beneath you
know all the pain & beauty you can possibly reach
then land softly back in my outstretched arms and realize truth

i lean into the grain, feel it scrape against my skin, feel little pieces of it bite into me.  it reminds me i’m alive & who i am.

one of these days i’m gonna write about good & bad.  sometime, probably sooner than later, i’ll tell the rest of the story.  i know most of them won’t understand.  in fact, i know exactly what they’ll think, because i’ve been there.  stood right beside them and recited it with them word for word.

occasionally i’ll see a shadow or a fragment from that past and i’ll wonder how i escaped, not physically, but mentally, without actually going completely insane.  i did go a little insane.  ;)

in any case, we all need reminders sometimes.  and i still love them.  it’s just that now i know that me is perfect.

xo

(i love his ad-lib in the beginning, so i had to use this one…)

this line —> “everything works in your arms…”

i’ve been thinking about this song quite a bit lately.  well, i’ve been thinking about a lot actually, but that’s nothing new.

you know newton’s laws of motion…”for every action, there is an equal & opposite…”

i’m writing a new blog post about this today.  

because sometimes everything doesn’t work…when i’m not in your arms.

you walk down to the beach…see the whitecaps at a distance.  feel the cold sand between your toes.  the sunrise looks so beautiful.

approach the water, start wading in.  suddenly change is rushing upon you in crashing waves.

the current claws at your ankles…as soon as you feel it recede it starts to build again…knocks you down, over & over, pummeling you.

you try to stand.  but there are no footholds.

you can’t control this any more than the sand can rise up against the sea.

you can go back to the shore…leave it all behind.  or you can simply stop fighting.  lay down and be with the ocean.

today has kinda sucked.  for no particular reason.  or maybe, for several particular reasons.

in any case, i’ll be glad when this week is over.  and screw the snow - it was pretty for like 20 seconds.

some days are like jail cells.  these are the days that make me believe.  because we must be mice being toyed with.  there’s no way two sets of headphones thousands of miles apart both die on the same day.  etcetera.

so i shake my fist at some unknown and then look away.  cause they’ll be bored tomorrow & move on.

and anyway, “love will come & set me free.”

16.

i stare down at the keys
waiting for the release of words
that should come;
the flooding emotions

but instead of being tapped out
in black & white static
i find these words wing-tipped;
fluttering off, swirling around the room
filling it with joys unuttered

a love like this

sometimes a vortex opens up in front of me, a portal to another place.  i don’t have any choice whether to go there.  it sucks me in like a vacuum.  there are definitely triggers, but i never know when it’s going to hit, for sure.

i never was for the faint of heart.  i’m a traveler baby.  maybe you are too.  and i think that’s why you can love me - even this.  anyway, you’d have to be crazy…

xo

yeah, this is very different.  i won’t deny it’s new territory for sure.  and yet there is no drama, jealousy, anger or pain - because there is no selfishness.  priorities & expectations are in check.  and the space that breathes there is pure joy.  

"fear, you look so pretty, i remember you.  but i’m just over it.  you’ll have to find someone else to torture."

do i have to worry about what you did last night?  nope, i trust you.  do i have to obsess that you won’t return after today?  nope, whether you return or not, it’s just a succession of love.

the limits of our endurance will be tested.  but in that testing process, the quality of our conviction becomes known.